AN INTERVIEW WITH A 25-YEAR VETERAN DENVER MATCHMAKER

(Click on the light pink print to go to Posts)

  1. What is your favorite part of matchmaking?  The interview and the coaching.  Of course the collaborative matchmaking.
  2. What is your least favorite?  If clients are not cooperative and it is like pulling teeth just to complete their profile it is both disappointing to me and unpleasant.  Does not make for a good start.
  3. Who do you least like to work with after 25 years?  Teachers (K-12) are the most difficult clients.  They are often flaky and don’t follow through as promised.  Again, disappointing and surprising but very consistent.  Also women in their twenties and thirties who are very attractive and earn a high income can be uncooperative.  When they are cooperative they are a pleasure, but have run into issues with several.
  4. Why do you have an open-ended contract?  I cannot promise any new client that the perfect person is already in the service waiting for them on the day they join.  Nor is there any way of knowing when the “right” person will appear.  With that in mind I feel that every client NEEDS to have an open-ended contract so that they will be in the service when the right person presents themselves, whenever that may be.
  5. Why are women in their 30s with the above characteristics difficult?  Just as the men in their thirties report, they can be condescending, uncooperative and judgmental.  Contrary to the fact they often join the service for the coaching, when you suggest things they don’t want to hear they check out.  Of course not ALL women in their thirties are like that.
  6. What has disappointed you the most about Denver matchmaking over 25 years?  The lack of appreciation.  It never ceases to surprise and disappoint me when a couple becomes engaged that they don’t always tell me, invite me to the wedding or tell the truth about how they met.  It appears to emanate from the women…who BTW are the most demanding of the clients.  So one would think that if you get the job done they would be appreciative, but not always so much.
  7. Who are the easiest clients to work with?  I have a post listing 4 or 5 personality traits that make working with them both successful and a pleasure.
  8. Who are your most successful clients?  Same as above.
  9. How has your business been so successful while others have failed?  It is my heart, not just a business.  I really want everyone to succeed even though realistically I know that not everyone can.  I work full time on such a personal level with each client, which is what they sign up for usually.  So many clients have been successful and the structure of the service and my fees vary vastly from other Denver matchmaking services.
  10. Why don’t you advertise?  Because I’ve been in business for so long I cannot “water down” the quality of the clientele.  Advertising is very expensive and brings in a lot of inappropriate callers.  I have to be very diligent when accepting new clients who both fit in with current clients and who really understand and embrace the structure and philosophy of Bon Jour Matchmaking.
  11. Since all of your clients have open-ended contracts what happens if you retire or die?  I have had in place for many years another Denver professional in this venue who has been in business for about 15 years.  He agrees each January to take over the service should something happen to me that I can no longer run it.  I always see that my clients are taken care of.
  12. How many matches should your clients expect to meet while in your service?  My hope is that they are so discerning they couple or marry the first or second match.  This is Matchmaking so not everyone is an appropriate date.  We decide together who they meet and they can meet as many people as they feel are good matches, but my preference is that we take our time and not wear them out with all the wrong ones so they are too discouraged to meet the right one(s).
  13. Your structure and philosophy seem popular and very successful with singles.  Have others tried to copy you?  There is a woman in L.A. who is the sister of a friend of mine who actually used language from my Press Kit verbatim to start her own service.  I had left my Press Kit with him and unknowingly to me, he gave it to her.  Locally not so much as the way I operate takes a lot of work on a personal level with each client and the local services don’t seem to want to put in the work.  If you do it right there can be a good deal of time and effort involved.
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