In the past two weeks I have declined to work with about 10 singles who called for Bon Jour Matchmaking. In case it is not clear that means I turned down a minimum of $20,000 in income!
WHY? It’s called being ethical. I know that is a foreign term in these days of greed, but after 28 years of Denver matchmaking with Bon Jour being so specialized I know from interviewing EVERY client their preferences and flexibility.
Sometimes you absolutely can’t win even when you are trying to be honest and ethical. One of the women I declined (“Olimpia”) wrote a nasty review on YELP. She should have thanked me for not lying to her and taking her money knowing she would not be successful! EVERY time I decline to work with someone that effects my income, every time.
My clients make it perfectly clear what they are looking for in a mate which includes physical traits obviously. My women are clear that they prefer men 5’9″ or taller with comparable educations and income to theirs. My men specify no women larger than a size 10. That’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t be much of a Matchmaker or business woman if I ignored their criteria or preferences like most other Denver matchmaking services (read their reviews).
There are many, many reasons that I decline to work with someone and height and size or only two of the reasons. Read through the list of things that make someone a poor candidate for Bon Jour.
If I sound angry you bet I am. If “Olimpia” had been a client and I had lied to her about her success that would be a legitimate reason to write a bad review. But to write a bad review because of her hurt ego when I was honest and ethical is ridiculous. This is the kind of attack that makes me consider whether I want to continue doing this. Again, I turn down thousands of dollars a year in an effort to be ethical and not take advantage of vulnerable people!
There are many reasons Bon Jour is unique and ethics is just one big reason.
Going into my 28th year practicing matchmaking I’ve developed a new plan that can make you your investment fee back if the situation fits.
After you become a client of this Denver matchmaking service, if you meet someone either in or outside the service and cultivate a long and hopefully permanent relationship I’m inviting you to either GIFT or SELL your place in Bon Jour. This also applies if you move out of state. If you SELL your place you cannot sell it for more than you paid, so you would have to ask me what you paid if you don’t remember. The perspective buyer MUST MEET ALL BON JOUR MATCHMAKING CRITERIA first or I will NOT honor the sale. There are NO REFUNDS from Bon Jour Matchmaking Service or Michele Fields.
There would be a fee (for them) to initiate another 2-hour interviewing process with this new client who is taking your place.
Those conditions are:
- The person must live in Colorado and spend at least half their time in the Denver or surrounding cities;
- That person MUST be totally single (not separated) or in any type of serious relationship which includes living together;
- That person must be in the age range of 30-70;
- Buyer should be reasonably fit or they will not be very successful;
- Buyer must be well educated or equivalent business acumen;
- Buyer cannot be an alcoholic or drug user or seller;
- Buyer must be willing to pay a fee for their initial interview;
- Female buyers do best under a size 10;
- Male buyers do best 5’9″ or taller;
- MUST HAVE A CLEAN BACKGROUND and preferably be a professional.
This person should be someone you would like to meet while you were in the service and fit for your own criteria. The sale would be totally between you and the buyer but you must run them by me before selling so as to make sure they fit in and this is the right service for them.
I try to make Bon Jour Matchmaking as winning a situation for everyone as I possibly can.
When I started Bon Jour Matchmaking in 1989 my goal was to keep the investment/filing fee as low as possible by limiting overhead, knowing each and every client because how else can you match if you don’t know both sides of the equation? Have a very comprehensive questionnaire, which has evolved over time based on interests and concerns clients have shared, and is now 5 pages which every client either views or hears in full when contemplating a match. I thought it very important to have current photos, at minimum 6 showing various moods and styles.
I have two contracts that every client signs both explaining my responsibilities and the client’s responsibilities. The Behavioral Agreement lays out the timing for initial phone calls, returning my contact and meetings. There is a momentum to this and I try very hard to keep that momentum going to achieve optimum results!
Hearing and sharing both side’s feedback is extremely important so that clients may adjust perceptions and behavior assisting in the success of every match.
Bon Jour Matchmaking is the Denver matchmaking service with the most hands-on success for 27 years for singles in the Front Range of Colorado!
There are several aspects of Bon Jour Matchmaking that make it unique from other Denver matchmaking services. The open-ended contract, the one-time personalized investment fee, the amount of information supplied about each and every client and last but NOT least the coaching.
Here is an example of how Michele the Matchmaker’s coaching can make or break a new relationship:
I matched two clients who had an immediate attraction and interest in each other. Information that was not on his profile that I shared with this woman is that he is a one woman man most comfortable in a marriage. He’s NOT a player. She confided that she was not feeling secure (this was very early on) and that she was going to start being less accessible. I cautioned her not to play games as this guy is not a serial dater and would not understand and it might cause him to back off. I shared with her how very interested he was/is in her so she agreed not to play games.
They have been dating for a few months including New Year’s Eve and day, met each others children and seemed solid. He called me the other night explaining that the last time they were suppose to get together she texted him while he was on his way to her house to pick her up for dinner and said she didn’t want to go out. Of course that threw him and confused him. He said she called the next day saying that other guys she has dated have acted the way he is recently and they were dating someone else. So she backed off and started playing games. Had she called ME first I would have re-established what I told her originally and that would probably not have happened.
It put them off track briefly but now I fear he’s cautious about her behavior. Don’t discount how important a third person, being ME, who knows both sides of the relationship can help make or break it early on. My goal is to keep you on track until you are flowing naturally yourselves.
Recently I have been contacted or worked with several women in their thirties who have had no patience. They have never been married but expect that because they are paying a fee it should happen immediately. They’ve even said they want this to happen yesterday. Well, if you didn’t get it done either yourself or through other venues up to this point, why would you expect me to accomplish this immediately just because this is when you chose to come in?
I stack the deck in each client’s favor right off the bat by giving every client, for FREE, an open-ended contract. That assures them that whenever the “right” person comes in for them they will be here. But in this world of immediate gratification, for some people that is not good enough. I recently spoke with a matchmaker in L.A. who said that when she charges women for her service their expectations go through the roof and she can’t deal with that anymore. So she just has “cattle calls” for women for free but charges the ones she is sure she can match.
Nice lady but that doesn’t seem fair across the board. Some pay, some don’t but all of the men pay. I don’t find that equitable. And yes, I deal with the same issue mainly from women but I have and will continue to deal with it. Not every woman is like that and the majority understand this isn’t a quick fix. That said it is surprising, even to me, how many clients have met their spouses on either the first or second introduction! They were so lucky and it was clearly meant to be. Others it took however long it took but who cares as long as you achieve your goal with the “right” person!
So if you are looking for a quick fix from a Denver matchmaker proceed with packages of dates…there are many Denver matchmaking services out there who offer that. If you are looking for real old fashioned matchmaking and the time to make it happen, perhaps Bon Jour Matchmaking is right for you…best of luck either way!
Rather than have a flat fee painting everyone with the same brush OR having preliminary interviews to assess how much I think a client can afford to quote their fee like most other Denver matchmakers…Bon Jour’s fee structure ranges from $1500 to $4500.
It is based on these four criteria:
- How much I think I can do for you
- How marketable you are within my service
- How successful I anticipate you can be in Bon Jour
- Your expectations
So don’t get excited if I quote you a lower end fee. It means I can help you but there may be challenges that will effect your success.
The higher to the upper end of the fee structure means I either know clients who might be interested in meeting you or you are the type of person most of my clients prefer. Also you may be a person with less challenges, i.e. multiple divorces, lots of pets, location, working hours, etc.
Neither your income or career/job play any part in the fee I quote especially for you. Fees are based on the FREE telephone consultation we have before you decide whether we are a match. So, rather than keeping unflattering or questionable information from me during that consultation, the more challenges you have i.e., lots of pets, lots of children, lots of marriages, etc., the more your fee drops down from the $4500. That said, the man in the last couple who married was divorced 3 times so that is not always an indicator of success or failure. It depends on what other attributes, qualities, morals and values you bring to the table. So don’t hold back. Take advantage of this extended call as it dictates the fee you are quoted. Don’t forget that whatever your fee is you always receive an open-ended contract!
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Don’t discount the length of time a Denver matchmaking or Denver dating service has been in business. Not only for their credibility and reliability but also for their experience and expertise. I learn new things about Denver singles, dating and matchmaking every year. I would have thought I knew it all by now after being in business since 1989 full time, but am always learning.
If a business has been operating for a long period of time there are bound to be clients who are unhappy. Clients contribute to their dissatisfaction in a service by being too narrow in their criteria and preferences, not giving good people a chance, being too superficial, being a poor partner once they are in a relationship and/or being uncooperative or combative to the matchmaker or owner.
Don’t discount the last possibility. I have come across people who initially appear to genuinely want to find a mate but don’t walk the talk once they’ve been set up. Even with direct feedback and coaching they don’t make an effort. If you do this the way you’ve always mated then you may get the same results you’ve always gotten. If you work with me it would benefit you to listen and incorporate the feedback I share from the people you meet. Most of my clients are great at that and appreciate all Bon Jour Matchmaking has to offer. But on occasion I accept someone who doesn’t get it and then gets mad. Don’t shoot the messenger! This is a collaboration and clients who have understood that have had the most success.
Also if when you call for your FREE PHONE CONSULTATION you give me one set of information, such as age range you wish to meet, then during the interview you give me a different answer that would not be beneficial to you. Your fee is based on the information you share at the time of that phone consultation. If you change it, which I had one gentleman do, when I interview you you are shorting yourself. Had I known the age range he really wanted I would not have accepted him as a client at all and his criteria became much more narrow consequently I decided not to work with him. So there is no benefit to not being candid and honest initially.
My point of this post is that the longer a business has been operating and the more people they work with there are bound to be some who are dissatisfied for one reason or another, not always legitimate.