Is It Always the Services’ Fault?


After 25 years of matchmaking in Denver (or this applies to anywhere) the impression has become very clear that singles think that if they “pay a lot of money” to a matchmaker, matchmaking service, etc. THAT will be the definitive way to meet the right one.  The more expensive the service, the more of a guarantee they “think” they are making to assure this outcome.

As you’ve read on my last Post about an outrageously expensive “matchmaking” company run by Lisa Clampitt in New York, she appeared, from the Complaint, to have not disclosed information or followed her client’s wishes.  But the guy who wrote that Complaint agreed to pay $1500 to meet ONE woman without seeing any information except a picture.  So whose fault was that really?  You have to be a wise consumer!  (click on the blue print to go to Post)  The fact he paid $1500 did not make this match outstanding.  In fact he reports that he did not really care for her.

Many people who come to me have already tried the Internet dating and/or various local services and obviously since they are now coming to me they have not been successful.  In many cases it was something with the service.  In many cases those people have definite dating issues that get in the way of their success.  Apparently the other services did not assist/coach them to correct those issues.  So no matter what they try if they continue those habits and ways of thinking they will get the same result.  It isn’t the vehicle, it’s the driver.

You can ask any of my clients, I really get in their business and try to clarify, redirect, encourage, be the voice of reason and common sense as I work with them in Bon Jour Matchmaking.  But it is up to them as to whether they listen to me.  Definitely click on this link to the Post as it will illuminate what I just said.  I can talk to some clients until I can talk no more and they will continue either not to listen and do the opposite or maintain doing what they’ve always done.

One of the main areas where this issue comes up is in the selection of people to meet.  This is not the Internet.  Do not conduct your search in the same way you would using an Internet Dating Service or you will surely get the same results!  Don’t come in and say, “this is the type I always date”.  That one phrase tells both of us exactly why you have been unsuccessful.  So as a client of Bon Jour we work very hard together to be more flexible, more open-minded and reasonable when selecting your matches together.  That’s why it works so much of the time, but not all of the time or for everyone.



Although I’ve alluded to it in several posts I thought I would just directly explain what Bon Jour Matchmaking both provides to all clients and what is expected in return.  It’s not that I’m a control freak, it’s that I know all of my clients personally and individually so I know how they think.  Isn’t that what you want from a personal Matchmaker?

This is a total collaboration meaning from the very first time you call me I start noticing your grammar, whether your outgoing voice mail contains some part of your name (making it easier for a match to know they’ve called the right number) instead of something automated that could be anyone.

Whether you’ve paid attention to what I’ve explained multiple times in this website that if you wish to be quoted a fee you need to CALL me as there are several questions I need to ask that combine for your personal investment fee.  Because there is dating coaching with Bon Jour Matchmaking it is important for me to gauge whether you are receptive to suggestions and follow directions.

There is a specific time span in which clients need to contact me and each other when matched as well as a specific time frame in which you need to meet.  The reason for this is that you can only stay excited about meeting someone new for a limited period before you either get turned off by not hearing from them or jump to the conclusion they are not interested and/or unreliable.  A person’s enthusiasm for the meeting is most important and that can only be maintained for a fairly short time span.

I want you to be successful in this matchmaking endeavor.  Along that line, knowing what turns all of my clients on and off, I really try to work with you very personally tweaking what you write about that will interest them so that you will stand out and the types of photos that are the most favorable.  Your success in this Denver matchmaking service is not based on me, but primarily on you and how open you are, who you choose to meet, utilizing suggestions and being overall dependable, unlike clients in other services and the Internet dating sites.

I decline more singles than I accept based on the above and what I glean from our initial interactions.  Thus making Bon Jour a service with reliable clients who are serious about their romantic futures and a Matchmaker who is on call 7 days a week and holidays, returns calls and emails very quickly and never shies away from even a stressful interaction with clients.  A true collaboration with both client and Matchmaker holding up their responsibility to reach their goal.


(Click on the blue print to go to Posts)

Hiring a matchmaking service is a lot like hiring a financial advisor to direct you in the stock market.  You invest your money hoping for a large return; you have patience because the market can go up and down and you are basically making an educated decision about this form of investment.  Likewise in a matchmaking service your investment is in the hopes that you will meet people who you’ve been searching for up to this point; you are directed by the matchmaker which candidates (like stocks) will give you the best return; it can take time to meet the most appropriate matches and they may be successful or not.  It’s an investment in the process.  Again, patience is key.  With my open-ended contract you have the best opportunity to meet the “right” person when they present themselves.

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service not only matches you with an abundance of information and photos of each client but also includes coaching.   The important and valuable thing about the dating coaching aspect is that I am objective and receiving feedback on both sides of the match.  That way I can follow if you have a trend of doing something that undermines potential relationships and am able to share that with you and hopefully correct it.  That has come up a lot recently with many of my clients.

Although they are very well educated, accomplished and outstanding individuals they tend to make the same mistakes with each match as I learn from the feedback.  Consequently we have to address this so that they will be more successful in the future.  I can set you up with terrific people, but if you keep undermining the process you will get the same results…I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink out of a glass.

The first suggestion I would make to anyone considering working with a Denver matchmaker is that rather than say, this is the type of person I usually date or this is my type and this isn’t you keep an open mind.  If this is the “type” you usually date it isn’t working and perhaps you should consider being more open minded rather than repeating a “type” that hasn’t been working out.  In my 40 year dating “career”, although there were certain looks I was most attracted to I also made room for other things about a person that I found attractive.  We all know couples who, on paper, don’t seem to match up very much or look odd together, but low and behold they have long and happy marriages because the very most important attributes such as values, morals, some level of attraction and goals are a match.

If what you’ve been doing in selecting the people you date and/or behaving the same way on dates has not been working (and I presume that’s why you are on here reading this), doesn’t it make sense to try another approach?  That’s not to say that you can’t and won’t meet people you find attractive in all ways (that’s your decision to make after reading their profile and viewing their photos as well as my input), I’m just saying rather than being more narrow when you hire a matchmaker, be more open.


Denver Singles Hire a Heart Hunter

The Heart Hunter is a new category of professional advisor who works with upper echelon professionals in the same way a Head Hunter finds them a perfect career match.

Today’s professional Denver singles hire head hunters to assist them in finding the perfect position in a company to fit their educational background.  Likewise they have also chosen to hire a Heart Hunter to assist them in finding the perfect mate for life.  Bon Jour Matchmaking Service owned by Michele Fields provides an environment for local professionals to work closely with this experienced Matchmaker to find a mate who fits their moral and ethical values as well as background.

Matchmaking since 1989 Michele Fields has earned the title Heart Hunter.   Her credentials are clear having matched 313 couples (which equates to 626 singles) for marriage since 1989.  The most impressive statistic is, however, that every couple married either the first or second person they met through Michele.  Of course that’s not an absolute…but most times the collaboration is just that successful!

This Heart Hunter collaborates with each Client and carefully selects prospects who fit physically, common interests, morally, ethically and educationally based on preferences she gleans during a two-hour interview.  The Client selects who they would like to meet based on Michele’s input, current photos and an in-depth questionnaire shared with them, making this a totally collaborative effort between Matchmaker and Client.

Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields is the perfect definition of a Heart Hunter.  In addition to matching she helps them hone their “resumes” or profiles and advises them with image consulting and dating coaching so that when she does make a match they put their best foot forward to have a successful introduction.