While practicing professional matchmaking since 1989 and seeing which clients marry and which do not, as I mentioned many times in this Blog, stop looking for perfection.
Whether you use the Internet dating sites, Meet Up, matchmakers or whatever if your standards are so high that either you can’t find people to fit them or the people who do fit them don’t want you…get real!
Over 600 singles have married through Bon Jour Matchmaking Service since 1989. Not the most beautiful, not the wealthiest, not the most famous…singles with realistic and sincere, in-depth criteria and expectations. Those are the people who get married. Even on the Internet I know of a few couples who married but they aren’t models or moguls, they found their most appropriate match. Not someone to impress their peers or someone who does everything they do.
Also I have friends and family who have married people they don’t have lots of activities in common with but what they do have are commons goals, values and morals. Activities can be cultivated. If you are so focused on a specific activity or two and demand they do those also you are going to miss out on people who might have been your best partner in life. There’s more to life than skiing, bicycling and hiking…stuff happens and you need to look for more than appearance and activities.
Look at the couples you know or even have just observed…they probably aren’t models or moguls or have every single thing in common. But they may still have outstanding relationships/marriages. I know several who have lasted 25 and 30+ years, including my own parents. They love each other and accept each other and appreciate their differences and respect those while cultivating commonalities through the life of their years together.
Our first interaction on the telephone or if you send me an email starts our journey to discover whether Bon Jour Matchmaking is the right Denver matchmaker for you and you are the right client for the service. Whether, as your very personal matchmaker, I feel I can reasonably meet your expectations or I fear you may be disappointed. It is most important to me that I have a reasonable expectation of achieving your goal.
Anyone who calls looking for a guarantee, shows major skepticism, puts all of the responsibility on my abilities as a matchmaker or shows a lack of understanding as to the structure of Bon Jour automatically throws up flags for me. Do the Internet dating sites give you a guarantee? Does the stock market give you a guarantee? For that matter does the person you marry give you a guarantee? Some things are done on faith and hope and realistic expectations. This is one of them.
If I sense you are very skeptical but willing to go forward anyway I will suggest we don’t. That already puts up a barrier between us and does not let our relationship flow naturally nor the process flow naturally.
I have full confidence in my own ability as a professional Denver matchmaker after practicing this career for 27 years with a success rate of 70%. But is it really all about my abilities? If you are a very picky, inflexible client and no one seems to suit you so you decline everyone I show you or who selects to meet you, then you won’t meet anyone. If people decline to meet you I can exemplify your outstanding virtues and nudge them but no client is forced to meet another client. If I introduce you to a wonderful person and you ruin the potential relationship, I can advise and counsel but ultimately the success of your relationship is up to you and that person.
If I find you difficult in our phone consultation, inflexible, unrealistic, narrow and/or demanding it is likely I will fear that a relationship with you may be more trouble than it is worth. You may seem impossible to please in which case I will decline to work together.
So that’s the story…this is such a personal endeavor we have to have a good rapport, understand each other’s expectations and agree on my philosophy. That’s what makes a good and successful client.
As I tell my clients, I do all that I can to stack the deck in your favor as a client. Meaning being selective of who I present to you based on both your preferences and background as well as theirs. Selecting photos that while they present you in your best light DO look like you unlike Internet dating sites. Suggest certain behaviors for early on in the relationship as it is so delicate sometimes the slightest slight may knock it off track. Correcting misconceptions and interpretations to give this budding match time and space to grow.
But I am a Matchmaker not a magician. I do all that I can to assist you but ultimately it is up to each individual as to their success. I make the environment the most positive and clear that I can. What is unwise on a client’s part is to have higher standards within a service than if you met someone outside of a service. I see it all the time. Your best chances of success are to be realistic, open-minded and patient. Those who have been have reached their goal within Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.
Having an open-ended contract is invaluable as I can never promise a new client that the “perfect” person is sitting here waiting for them….there are times they have been but I have no way of knowing that. We just do the best that we can together.
Without exception clients of Bon Jour Matchmaking have several common personality traits and goals.
All of them are serious about finding their last relationship…whether it be through marriage or LTCR (long term committed relationship). As their Denver matchmaker I put them through the “ringer” with an extensive questionnaire and Behavioral Agreement where they agree to specific terms which I have found over 27 years create the optimum success in a match.
They walk the talk and are reliable, reasonable, patient and realistic. Unlike Internet dating sites where singles (hopefully because some are married) join because they are bored, have a totally different yet superficial agenda or are felons, my Denver singles are goal oriented and serious about a forever relationship.
Their pictures are current and look like them and in many cases they are more attractive than their photos as many people do not photograph well. So bonus! What you see is what you get or better.
So if you do not fit the description above Bon Jour Matchmaking is probably not the right service for you…but if you do than peruse this site and let’s talk!
We start another new year and people resolve to work out, lose weight, stop smoking, change jobs perhaps, etc. So don’t you think that finding love should be at the top of that list?
Be brave…read through this website and call me for your FREE PHONE CONSULTATION. It is merely an exchange of information, NOT a sales call. No pressure! What do you have to lose?
Starting my 27th year as a professional Denver matchmaker even I marvel at how successful my structure and approach have been. But it doesn’t work for everyone just like diets, stocks and other pursuits. If you read through this site and listen to my suggestions and coaching, keep an open mind and heart it may be successful for you.
It is merely a one-time filing fee which is good for the duration of the time you are in the service. Every client receives an open-ended contract so you are a client until you fulfill your goal. So best of luck and love for 2016! Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields
A beautiful, successful mother, businesswoman and model joined Bon Jour Matchmaking in 2013. She met a couple of men but not “the one”. Recently I have been cultivating a relationship with a Denver meteorologist going through a divorce with this client in mind. Once he was divorced he joined Bon Jour and she was the first one I suggested that he meet.
Since they laid eyes on each other they are crazy about each other and very hopeful this will go long term permanent. Due to her patience with the process and his willingness to give this type of approach a try, although he was very skeptical about working with a professional Denver matchmaker, he now says that he feels they would not have had as open communication and feedback had he not gone this route. He feels that having a professional matchmaker has made the process seamless and comfortable as well as added to the success.
So rather than ask how many people do I have in your age range right now at this moment in time, realize that good things come to those who wait. Timing is everything…but do you have the patience to wait for the right one? With my open-ended contract we work together until that time comes…
Recently I have been contacted or worked with several women in their thirties who have had no patience. They have never been married but expect that because they are paying a fee it should happen immediately. They’ve even said they want this to happen yesterday. Well, if you didn’t get it done either yourself or through other venues up to this point, why would you expect me to accomplish this immediately just because this is when you chose to come in?
I stack the deck in each client’s favor right off the bat by giving every client, for FREE, an open-ended contract. That assures them that whenever the “right” person comes in for them they will be here. But in this world of immediate gratification, for some people that is not good enough. I recently spoke with a matchmaker in L.A. who said that when she charges women for her service their expectations go through the roof and she can’t deal with that anymore. So she just has “cattle calls” for women for free but charges the ones she is sure she can match.
Nice lady but that doesn’t seem fair across the board. Some pay, some don’t but all of the men pay. I don’t find that equitable. And yes, I deal with the same issue mainly from women but I have and will continue to deal with it. Not every woman is like that and the majority understand this isn’t a quick fix. That said it is surprising, even to me, how many clients have met their spouses on either the first or second introduction! They were so lucky and it was clearly meant to be. Others it took however long it took but who cares as long as you achieve your goal with the “right” person!
So if you are looking for a quick fix from a Denver matchmaker proceed with packages of dates…there are many Denver matchmaking services out there who offer that. If you are looking for real old fashioned matchmaking and the time to make it happen, perhaps Bon Jour Matchmaking is right for you…best of luck either way!