For some reason when singles consider working with a matchmaker or joining a local Denver matchmaking service their expectations are almost totally unrealistic. Do you use the stock market? It goes up and down and is never a sure thing. Neither is investing in real estate as we saw in the last few years. You join fitness clubs and don’t lose weight or get in shape. And the list goes on…
But when people hire matchmakers they expect a guarantee. Why is that? You are usually considering this because other avenues have not worked. They didn’t give you a guarantee and didn’t work. Neither can a matchmaker. You come with your own criteria, preferences and baggage. Those three things totally effect your success or failure. They are yours so you need to own them and not blame Denver dating or matchmaking services for your lack of success.
You will do yourself a big favor if you stop having over-the-top expectations when using local services. In the almost 27 years I’ve been matchmaking there have been clients who I was sure would be successful and weren’t, while others who I was not sure of married. Of all the businesses you can use this one has the least predictability. All I can do is my best to achieve your goal with your assistance.
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Hiring a matchmaking service is a lot like hiring a financial advisor to direct you in the stock market. You invest your money hoping for a large return; you have patience because the market can go up and down and you are basically making an educated decision about this form of investment. Likewise in a matchmaking service your investment is in the hopes that you will meet people who you’ve been searching for up to this point; you are directed by the matchmaker which candidates (like stocks) will give you the best return; it can take time to meet the most appropriate matches and they may be successful or not. It’s an investment in the process. Again, patience is key. With my open-ended contract you have the best opportunity to meet the “right” person when they present themselves.
Bon Jour Matchmaking Service not only matches you with an abundance of information and photos of each client but also includes coaching. The important and valuable thing about the dating coaching aspect is that I am objective and receiving feedback on both sides of the match. That way I can follow if you have a trend of doing something that undermines potential relationships and am able to share that with you and hopefully correct it. That has come up a lot recently with many of my clients.
Although they are very well educated, accomplished and outstanding individuals they tend to make the same mistakes with each match as I learn from the feedback. Consequently we have to address this so that they will be more successful in the future. I can set you up with terrific people, but if you keep undermining the process you will get the same results…I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink out of a glass.
The first suggestion I would make to anyone considering working with a Denver matchmaker is that rather than say, this is the type of person I usually date or this is my type and this isn’t you keep an open mind. If this is the “type” you usually date it isn’t working and perhaps you should consider being more open minded rather than repeating a “type” that hasn’t been working out. In my 40 year dating “career”, although there were certain looks I was most attracted to I also made room for other things about a person that I found attractive. We all know couples who, on paper, don’t seem to match up very much or look odd together, but low and behold they have long and happy marriages because the very most important attributes such as values, morals, some level of attraction and goals are a match.
If what you’ve been doing in selecting the people you date and/or behaving the same way on dates has not been working (and I presume that’s why you are on here reading this), doesn’t it make sense to try another approach? That’s not to say that you can’t and won’t meet people you find attractive in all ways (that’s your decision to make after reading their profile and viewing their photos as well as my input), I’m just saying rather than being more narrow when you hire a matchmaker, be more open.